Showing posts with label self deprecation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self deprecation. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I Am An Individualist. Don't Mess With Me.

December 22, 1993

Dear Bethany,
Now about my friends. I'll start with my best and go on to my least (just because they're least does not mean I don't like them a lot!)
Piper: Piper is my all time favorite friend, but she's got tons of problems. She is about an "8" on beauty but she's very slim and graceful. 
I think she's an "above stress level  child" but a great friend. I got her an M&M gumball machine for Christmas. 
Cathy: Cathy is absolutely stunning but often clashes. I think she would make a great model when she is around 18. Cathy used to like Connor and still thinks he's cute (actually so do I) but he's a big jerk. 
Allison: She wants to be an actress when she grows up which really upsets me. I kinda thought it way MY thing. Like, I would be an individual. Cause I'm an individualist in some ways. Every time she mentions it I get all hot and mean feeling. 
More later!
love,
Corey


Um. I could write a novel on this entry alone. 
First, I'd like to know who taught be the phrase "above stress level child". Did I read this in a book? Did my parents use it? The school guidance counselor? Where do I GET this stuff?
Secondly, though I do talk about my crush Patrick a lot, I seem to talk about bad boy Connor even more. For someone who is my enemy, I certainly spend a LOT of time talking about him. And thinking he's cute. 
Thirdly, just one word: Individualist. I mean, is this like a valid way to define oneself? Some people think its cool to be like everyone else, others think its important to be your own person? I enjoy that I seem to have taken this on as a kind of political statement. 
I am an individualist. You know, like, I believe in individuals. 

Watch out all: sometimes I get "hot and mean feeling". You have been warned. 

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Nice People Are Still Scary.


November 22, 1993
Dear Bethany, 
Hi! Today I had tutering with Mrs. Betley. It was fun but kinda easy. I always get nervous that I won't know what to say around her or that I'll mess up. 

Ok. The "tutering" I had with Mrs. Betley obviously did not cover spelling. 

If I was hoping to uncover the reasons for my fear of authority in this journal it appears I have struck out. I was apparently already afraid of my teachers by the time I started writing. Mrs. Betley was the most wonderful, kind, blonde haired, big boned, loving teacher in the entire elementary school (which actually isn't saying much. There were only about 370 kids in grades K-6.) 
But her kind-fairy-godmother-motherly-wonderful-woman-who-would-bake-you-cookies-if-it-was-appropriate demeanor didn't stop me from being scared of her. 

It took two years cocktailing at a mafia run comedy club to finally learn how to stand up to authority. Too bad ten year olds can't cocktail. Helps build a backbone. If nothing else.