2/25/96
Dear Beth,
I really want to work on the new image. It has to start slowly. Here are the steps. 1=week one; 2=week two, 3=week three, etc.
1. Start talking to new people (Kayla, Lily, Morgan). Do this while keeping friends with Jane, Hayley, Ella, etc. I talk to these people already, but become friends with them.
2. Clothes/Style: Start wearing what I want to wear. People should respect that. Get my own fashion.
3. FLIRT: have fun with flirting! Ned, Tim, Brad, whoever. Don't be slutty, just be nice. Fit what they want.
4. School-- work as hard as you can!
5. Work on putting it ALL together-- confidence, style, and everything else.
This is my key to happiness! Yea!
Love and Peace,
Corey
I'm not sure commentary is at all necessary for this. It's basically the most humiliating thing I've ever seen in my life. I want it to not be written by me so, so badly.
But alas. I actually said "FIT WHAT THEY WANT" about flirting with boys. At barely 13. I think this is a commentary on feminism and stuff but I'm so effing embarrassed I can't get there. Someone help a girl out, and make this meaningful instead of just horrifying.
I wouldn't call it humiliating that you picked up the lessons that the entire world throws at girls from almost day one. I remember picking up a magazine in a US waiting room and flicking to an article about jealousy between women, and it said, I swear to god, 'when you feel envious that your friend has a boyfriend and you don't, take a moment to remember that you may not know the compromises she's had to make to keep him.' And that's to say nothing of every hollywood movie ever, fairytales etc etc. It's not humiliating that children can't recognise bullshit as bullshit. It's only upsetting that some women continue to believe it forever.
ReplyDeleteP.s. I had a 'boy book' I wrote in when I was 12. It is like your diary entry, but looooonger :)
I wanted to "fit what they want" for 29 years! It's just the past 5 that I'm learning about myself and what I want. Definitely makes sense that you wrote that =) xoxox hj
ReplyDelete