Stop Thinking You're So Cute, Hayley.

March 13, 1996

Bethy,

I'm so deep in my hatred for Hayley it is unbelievable. She is just the biggest bitch in history. I despise her. I invited her to chat on NoblesNet and the first thing she said was "Do you write Derek on NN?" I said no, do you? And she goes: "yeah... but I was just curious."

YEAH RIGHT!!!!

She just wants to play with jealousy! Can you believe her?? She wrote him an NN note to say happy birthday to him (Sunday) and he wrote back and now they write. She goes "I think you should write him." Probably thinking that I wouldn't. Of course I did! Heehee. If he wrote her back, he'll write me back, definitely. I hate Hayley. She has all the teachers and upper-schoolers thinking she's cute and sweet, when really she's out to get people-- like me! How low can you get? I just hate her! I can't believe she's in love with MY Senior/sixie date. She'll probably ask him to dance at the dance. I would, of course, never speak to her if she did. He either"

1. wouldn't have the heart to turn her down. Plus probably thinks she's cute.

2. Would feel bad since he's MY date and would say no.

3. (most likely) would feel bad for me so he would ask me if it was okay-- I wouldn't have a choice but to say it was fine.

I HATE HAYELEY!!

The only problem is that I can't say I'm mad at her for flirting with Derek. Because she'd either tell him or say something like "You don't own him!" 

Oh! I hate her. But she'll never know.

Bye!

-Cor

Again. To recap. Derek is 18. A senior in high school. I am thirteen and a really huge loser. The idea of me fighting over him with Hayley, or feeling like I have any kind of ownership over him because he is going to a weird senior/seventh grader dance with me in the spring is cray-cray. Seriously guys. Delusion City. 

Poor guy is getting emails (A "Nobles Net" or "NN" message means EMAIL on the school email system. It's 1996. I don't have the lingo down yet) like, daily, from seventh graders. And not even popular ones. With the perspective of a 29 year old I now see Derek opening his email, rolling his eyes, and asking his friends how the hell he can get these 13 year olds to lay the fuck off. I just don't think it's cute anymore. I think I passed into the stalker phase sometime in, like, January with him. 

And poor Hayley. I mean, I've only known the girl for 6 months but the hatred I have for her is at the level of someone I've known for my whole life. 

But I like that my 13 year old self has some sort of radar for bullshit. I respect that. 13 year old Corey thinks Hayley is faking it and fooling everyone. But you CAN'T FOOL ME. I see the quiet manipulation. I see the evil undertones. I see the fake cuteness. I see it all.

Or, you know, I possibly have invented it all in my head. For all I know Hayley legit was offering me advice on how to get with Derek. 

...but I doubt it.