Separation Anxiety

January 30, 1995

Dear Bethany,

Hi! Nothing new here. On Saturday Diana and I went to Boston with Diana's Aunt Jessica, had our nails done (mine are brightish coral), had lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe and babysat for a third grader.

Then we were going to have a sleepover but I got that FEELING. I REALLY REALLY did not want to sleep there away from my mom and dad. =( So I lied and said I had a REALLY bad stomachache. It wasn't a total lie, I mean I've been having cramps and stuff. So then my mom picked me up. I was so happy and I like totally felt relieved, happy and relaxed. Oh Bethy, do I sound really pathetic and immature? I feel like it. I mean, I gotta be able to have a fuckin' sleep over. You know what's weird about it? At Sargent Camp and over vacations I don't get that FEELING. Weird huh?

Today was boring.

Love,

ME

God I remember this period of time where I suddenly developed some weird separation anxiety for like, a year. What is especially bizarre is that Diana lived literally a 90 second drive from my house. And her family was completely my second family. I should have been totally comfortable there but clearly something else was up. And god, how humiliating, as an 11 year old, to leave your best friend's house when you're supposed to LOVE sleepovers. They totally knew, too. I seem to remember Diana's mother commenting on it and asking me what was up. I had no explanation for it, but it happened quite a few times, and every time I had a mysterious "stomachache". God being this age sucks. The age when you are starting to become neurotic but you don't know WHY. These days I totally know where my neurosis come from. Makes it easier.

What was up with Hard Rock Cafe? Why was it the pinnacle of classiness for us? I remember this day with Diana's Aunt Jessica SO well. I remember what I wore (this was during an unfortunate stage where I liked wide legged silky pants. It was a thing. I believe I wore coral ones with white polka dots on this day. And surely a matching vest, cause that's just how I rocked it back then.) Getting a manicure was the height of maturity and Diana's Aunt Jessica was by far the coolest adult we knew (with the possible exception of our student teacher, Candace).

And what crazy parents let us babysit their third grader?? What third grader actually respects a couple of four foot tall 11 year olds??