Journal Number 3 and The Truthmaster.

Third Journal, the Stained Glass Journal. Finally embracing my "artsy" self.

January 14, 1994

Dear Bethany,

Hi! I'm so sorry I haven't written for such a long time but nothing has seemed important enough to tell you about. But now something has. It all started last week.

I had gotten really annoyed at Farryl because she was becoming "snobbish". For instance, she and Allison complained about how "fat and ugly" they are which is totally untrue. So I assumed she was just doing it to get compliments. So I wrote her a letter telling her my thoughts but assuring her I didn't mean to be cruel or anything like that. So Kristin gave her the note I wrote (it was signed "The Truthmaster"). She read it and knew immediately who wrote it. She wrote me a note back saying "Dear Truthmaster: I know who you are. THANKS A LOT! Your so-called snob, Farryl."

She also told her best friend Piper she would never forgive me. In desperation yesterday I wrote her another letter telling her how sorry I was, and how she had so many good qualities (a tiny white lie). I don't know if it worked yet.

Love,

Corey

I have been waiting patiently for this entry. I remember VERY well writing this note and the fall out that happened because of it. I was hoping there would be some explanation for writing an "anonymous" (THE TRUTHMASTER?? REALLY????) note to someone who I considered a "friend" (at this point I think I have to use that term loosely.) Sadly there was no such explanation. Clearly something bigger was going on. No way was this entire psychotic reaction just from Farryl complaining about being "fat" (how concerned could i possibly be with Farryl's insecurities, after all?) But at least in this first entry there is zero reasonable explanation.

It is now that I have to admit... I think I LIKED the drama. I mean, you don't write that note if you are looking for a calm, drama-free school year. Also, I'm wondering if I truly believed The Truthmaster's note would actually "cure" Farryl's attitude. This seems naive, even for eleven year old Corey. Although I suppose I did think pretty highly of my own morality and writing talents. So in that case... perhaps I thought my writing would have a life changing effect on my audience like all the other great leaders before me. Sigh.

What's fascinating about all of this is I was not exceptionally "popular". I was a mean girl, clearly, but not in any traditional way. I was, if anything, condescended to and mildly tolerated. In this day and age I'm pretty sure this kind of treacherous behavior is reserved for just the most beautiful, most socially secure pre-teens. I wouldn't last a week in modern day elementary school. Thank god for the 90s.