Sunday, August 9, 2009

Intricate Military Style Relationship Planning.

March 27, 1994
Dear Bethany,
On Friday Diana and I decided to take action with this Patrick thing. I call it Plan AB because it's made up of Plan A and Plan B.
I'll walk up to Diana and say "Diana, look I got a new charm on my charm bracelet." She'll list all the charms. Then Patrick will know my talents.
Diana (who sits next to Patrick) will say "Are you going to ask Corey out?" then "Do you like her?" then "You're embarrassing her by not asking her out, most of her friends already going out. 

Oh, Corey. Bullying boys into asking you out. Plan AB is GENIUS. 

If Patrick sees all my charms on my charm bracelet (an ice skate! a ballet slipper! a music note! a piano! a book!) he will truly come to understand just how talented and skilled I am. I mean, if I have all those charms, I must really BE someone, right?

And I'm sure, if Patrick only knows how humiliating it is for me to be single, he will totally fix that problem. I mean, the last thing he wants is for me to be embarrassed. It is SUCH a compelling reason to get into a relationship. 

I am so certain this plan will work.... what could possibly go wrong?

and Diana, seriously, why are you still my friend? Have I done ANYTHING for you, or is our entire friendship based on you helping me with my completely insane and misinformed schemes?? I'm scared to know the answer to that...

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