Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I Am Old And Wise. But I'm Not Sure if I'm Pretty.

July 6, 1996


So I just went to the beach-- Caroline is busy today so tomorrow we will commit our time to Monopoly. It's the BEST board game! Anyway, about the beach. They are soooo immature. They play "hotel" and stuff. It's a group from ages like 5-12. It's so terrible. I don't want to hang out with people that still "play". It's awful. I have to realize that childhood is gone. The kids down there talk about fireworks and past summers. They try to make it sound like I do bad things-- only me. Especially Zoe. Everyone just loves good ole Zoe.Zoe has something against going places besides the beach. Especially on nice sunny days. My summer should be spent doing things that I love to do. Movies, shopping, talking, reading, writing, acting, singing, camp. Not games, swimming, and talking with people half my age. They can't expect me to want to either. I don't know why Zoe wants to. She's 12. She doesn't like ANYTHING I like. I mean most people around my age like SOMETHING from that list above. SIGH. So when Caroline isn't around, I'm left with nothing to do. Seriously, what can I do? I guess I'll work on my new book. 

I don't want summer to end, not matter how immature the beach is! 

Love ya,

PS: This is random: Am I healthy?
I hope so.
Also: Am I pretty? Who can I ask that will tell me the truth? Diana, if she pinky swears.... hmmm. 

First let's point out the obvious: I disapprove of people that "play". But I LOVE playing Monopoly. I seem to see no conflict here. Which should surprise exactly no one at this point.

Also I am unclear what this middle section is about. Where I am suddenly all deep about fireworks and "past summers". And what bad things was I doing?? I have no idea what I'm talking about. Maybe.... swearing? Being a massive bitch? I don't know. And why do I HAVE to realize childhood is gone? Did someone, like a parent or something, say that to me? Recommend I let go of my waning childhood at 13 years old? I'm gonna guess... yes.

The PS needs no comment. Except: Diana, pinky swear to tell the truth. AM I PRETTY?????

(remember when i was 9 and KNEW i was pretty. What happened to that girl?)

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Everyone's Looking at Me.

July 5, 1996

I found out James is bi. Not that that's important. I don't think stuff like that is bad at all. It's a surprise. I know lots of gay people, but no one bisexual. I mean, he could still like me... if I was about seven years older. It would be really strange though. 
I'm alone on the beach waiting for Caroline. It's strange 'cause the lifeguards keep turning around, etc. Almost to rub it in that I'm alone, you know? The lifeguard girl is like turning around and staring at me. The beach is so strange this year because all the lifeguards are new and I'm pretty sure they are all total jerks, too Not exactly a great combination. Where's Caroline? We planned to come at 10:30 and it is now 10:35. Not like that's a huge difference, but I had the impression that she would come as soon as she hung up with me. 
There goes that stupid lifeguard again. Maybe she's obsessed with me. She's probably trying to figure out all about my life. 
Bryan's here. I don't know if I told you about him, but last year Kat and I literally fought over him. Now I think he's strange. Oh well. Things happen. 
I'm getting very annoyed now. Where's Caroline? It's 10:40. Ten minutes late. 
I talked to Diana last night. I miss her so much. 
Peace and Love,

My first documented thoughts on sexual diversity! And I don't think it's "bad". In fact, I'm even down with the idea of dating a 20 year old bisexual dude.... when I am THIRTEEN years old. So there's that.  
I'm basically live-tweeting my friend being 10 minutes late. Thank god Twitter didn't exist in the 90s. Because, um, I would clearly have used it terribly. 
I love that the most reasonable solution to anyone looking my way is that they're obsessed with me. 
And good ole Bryan. My like, decade-long beach crush every summer. I will soon stop thinking he is weird, and love him again. Any day now, I'm sure.