Sunday, July 29, 2012

All My Friends are Bitches.


Oops! I haven't been sticking by my little weekly thing yet! Oh Well! My life is going well. Tomorrow=end of school (or rather last day before a 2 week March vacation).  I cannot wait. Tess's batmitzvah is the 9th and I'm wearing a very cool dress that I think makes me look really sexy/beautiful (sorry to brag to you. but it's not like I'm gonna brag to you, but it's not like I'm gonna brag to Hayley or Tess or anyone!) 
I'm going to ask Ned to dance at Tess's party!! it's not like he'd say no, so that should be great! I'm nervous though-- he'll either not want to dance, want to dance as a friend, or want to dance like REALLY dance, if you know what I mean.... But we're such good friends that I'm thinking I'm guaranteed a "yes". 
Also, Diana's parents are gonna be away for the weekend and she's staying here all weekend! The only bad thing is (yuck) dinner tonight-- chicken pot pie. Corey no want! 
Oh, the other bad thing is grades (possibly) and this science project thing. Also, Hayley is a bitch. Okay, so maybe bitch is a tad strong, but still! I mean, she is annoying as hell, and is definitely a brat. I am trying the good ole ignore tactic. Avoiding is always a good source of fun! 
Youth group tomorrow should be fun!
Diana got a bra. Um, that's it! 
Peace and Love,

I really tend to hate my best friends. It's sort of amazing. I don't know if you've noticed but basically my ONLY friends at my new school are Tess and Hayley, and I have bitched about both of them basically non stop. And called both of them annoying bitches. The only person who I usually seem to like is Diana. Who got a bra. Which is great. And Big News.

And yep. I used the phrase "Corey no want". I'm now baby-talking in my journal. WTF.

Monday, July 23, 2012

How to Be Popular. A Five Week Plan.


Dear Beth,
I really want to work on the new image. It has to start slowly. Here are the steps. 1=week one; 2=week two, 3=week three, etc. 

1. Start talking to new people (Kayla, Lily, Morgan). Do this while keeping friends with Jane, Hayley, Ella, etc. I talk to these people already, but become friends with them. 

2. Clothes/Style: Start wearing what I want to wear. People should respect that. Get my own fashion.

3. FLIRT: have fun with flirting! Ned, Tim, Brad, whoever. Don't be slutty, just be nice. Fit what they want. 

4. School-- work as hard as you can!

5. Work on putting it ALL together-- confidence, style, and everything else. 

This is my key to happiness! Yea! 

Love and Peace,

I'm not sure commentary is at all necessary for this. It's basically the most humiliating thing I've ever seen in my life. I want it to not be written by me so, so badly.

But alas. I actually said "FIT WHAT THEY WANT" about flirting with boys. At barely 13. I think this is a commentary on feminism and stuff but I'm so effing embarrassed I can't get there. Someone help a girl out, and make this meaningful instead of just horrifying.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Thirteen Year Old Corey Declares: I AM FAILING LIFE! 29 Year Old Corey Agrees.

February 20, 1996
Yes I still like Derek-- but he can be very moody. Some days he is extra happy to see me, other days he gives me the "go away, you bother me" impression. No worries though, 'cause I REALLY like this guy named Ned. I think MAYBE he likes me- but it could be total crap. I REALLY like him. He makes fun of me and calls me shorty but I do the same and call him Metal Mouth. He's a total hottie!

I know I'm not as smart as I used to be-- now I'm a fool. I've GOT to be the stupidest girl in the whole grade!! I AM FAILING LIFE!! Tess and I are having major problems. But we've been talking them out -- hopefully they'll heal. Ihem. 

My birthday was cool. I can officially call Diana's mom by her first name. I got a "top-notch" stereo, clothes, CD, M.E. stuff, candle holder, incense, beanie babies, frames, earring, Sweet Factory candy and gift certificates, ETC! Pretty funky. 

I've been thinking. To make my life the way I want it I need to do something. Work on my looks. Get more stuff to do on the weekends. Talk more with people I want to talk with. Go back to stuff I did last year, like write notes to my best friends, like all the great ones Diana and I wrote. ALSO, I should consider writing a secret admirer note to Ned. Or not. Who knows?? All I know is to improve my life I need to improve my tactics-- find the new Corey-- or the old one. 

Peace and Love,

1. Derek probably gives me the "go away you bother me" look because I am 12 and he is 18 and i am, legitimately, bothering him. This never really occurs to me.

2. I have no idea why I suddenly decide I am the stupidest girl ever. Liking Ned?? Or am I doing badly in school? Or is it because I'm so unhappy? I don't know, but it makes me sad. I don't remember ever feeling that way.

3. ... Not that I really disagree. I am sort of stupid when I'm 12.

4. Or, I'm sorry, recently 13. With a TOP NOTCH STEREO. This list of presents is sort of the perfect example of how in between moments I am. I'm still getting beanie babies, but I have a new stereo. And who gave me effing INCENSE? Talk about an identity crisis. I guess I was having one of my many hippie moments.

5. The Sweet Factory was the best.

6. Oof. That last paragraph. On one level: I get it. I'm still searching. On the other level: my ideas for how to REACH contentment are so sad. "work on my looks"?? What does that mean, in seventh grade. I mean, I weighed like 70 pounds. I don't need to lose weight or like, get botox. What am I going to do to fix myself up? And for the love of GOD, Corey, do NOT write a secret admirer note! I don't know why this is my go-to man-getting strategy, but it has go to stop.

7. Basically, I'm pretty deep for a 13 year old. And maybe never feel like I have things the way I want them. EPIPHANY.