Monday, June 21, 2010

I love Farryl.

April 23, 1995


Well, Farryl made up with me! I'm so happy about it. I mean, I thought I would never talk to her again, never hear her laugh or see her smile... and if I did it would be from a distance. Now she is laughing with me, smiling at me, talking to me. Just a month earlier it was all just some fantasy, every time I saw Farryl or heard Farryl I would have an incredible urge to hit myself with all my might and shout, "Corey! Why did you write that note?" I don't remember why I did. I don't really remember her being a snob. Maybe I just want to start trouble. It worked!

Why am I looking back on all this? It's over. All that guilt has been lifted off my shoulder. Right?? Then why do I still feel it? It's not as intense and I don't want to hit myself or anything. It's just a mystery why I did it. I still have trouble saying "Farryl and I made up!" "Farryl's my friend!" I'm just facing all the wonderful glory of it all. I'm SO happy. For once my life is perfect. I had a fabulous vacation, homework is done, Farryl's my friend, Patrick is going to write me a love poem (long story), I don't have a worry. Is my prediction right?? Will my life be all better by June 23rd ? Is it improving already? I just hope it IS. I just HOPE it is.
Peace and Love,


Do I have some romantic fascination with Farryl? I seem pretty decidedly into guys but there is something SO intense with the way I talk about her. And our reconciliation. And about how I had always fantasized about being friends again. Also, I'm concerned about wanting to hit myself.

As for the love poem Patrick is supposedly writing me... I have a strong strong feeling Diana is forcing him to write said love poem. Like, physically forcing him.

Maybe I should write FARRYL a love poem... I seem to have all the material....

GOD I'm getting more melodramatic and intense with every entry. When do I get less weird? Or do I have years and years of this still to go??