Thursday, August 16, 2012

I am SO MUCH LIKE JANE EYRE. Because of Our Prisons and Stuff.

The Fifith Journal: The Kissing Journal. Please note: On the inside page of this journal I have a running list of who these kissing children represent (ie: Me and Ned! Me and Joe! Me and Tim! etc.)


Hey Beth!
I have tons to look forward to-- especially the senior sixie dance! Ok I'm not gonna ramble about it-- although right now it's my whole life. I actually wanted to just talk deeply, express thoughts about things. 
I'm reading the book JANE EYRE. It shows so much about a trapped life. In my own way my life is trapped too. Jane speaks of liberty to do what she wants, as do I. She wants to be free of rules. I need to break away from my jail. The bars are people who i want to be friends with. I block myself in some odd way. I am caught in a strange sort of trap. I can escape and as we speak I slowly chisel the steel bars of popularity. When you are younger what you don't see is that once you escape trying to be popular, you become popular. As I grow out of my childhood jail, I can feel my own sort of freedom. When you stop worrying you feel confidence rise through your whole body. It shows, a little bit at a time. You stand up straighter, smile more, blush less, talk to people you barely know. I feel myself becoming who I am. As opposed to someone who will be whatever other people want me to be. I'm friends with so many people now, and it's good to know they are friends with Corey, and not the imprisoned child that lays inside me somewhere. 
I have so much ahead of me. No more "iron curtains". Just last week I was SO embarrassed about my terrible lacrosse playing, but I can't be good at everything-- and that's fine. Soon it will be over anyway. Next year I'll be an eighth grader, and eighth graders are what are scaring me this year, so next year nothing will scare me! I feel great. 
No one will ever understand my feelings, but that's fine. I can keep it inside. Inside my heart. That way it will stay there forever. But isn't it great to have freedom in your heart always?

Peace and Love,

Oh wow. Shit got deep here, guys. Um. If this is what I write in my journal about JANE EYRE, WTF did I write for an actual PAPER? I mean, those jail metaphors were SOLID.
I also love when I refer to my "childhood" over and over again. I'm 13. So... pretty solidly still in childhood I think.
Also, I'm so sad that I think my main thing to fear is eighth graders, and the certainty with which I believe that once I'm in eighth grade, I'll never be scared again.
Oh, Corey. That's so sweet. And so optimistic.
And why do I get the feeling that I legit quoted directly from JANE EYRE in this. Any English scholars out there recognize any plagiarizing???

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