Your Problem, Not Mine.

June 29, 1994

Dear Bethy,

Hi. Today we had a photo call for "Sound of Music". It went very well. First I met three really nice interns AND I got to have Jeff Landen put his hand on my shoulder. Jeff Landen is a very talented actor who I find very nice. I think I like him.

Tomorrow I have a rehearsal from 130-430. Cathy's going to have to be alone for three hours. I feel so bad for her. I mean if I was at her beach house and she had to go somewhere for three hours I would be boiling mad. Cathy doesn't seem too mad, but she's unpredictable. I think she's trying very hard to hide her disappointment. Oh well. Its her problem, not mine. That sounds rude but at this time and place acting is the most important thing in my life. Even more important than friends (sorry Cathy!)

Today me, Cathy and my brother played Monopoly. Cathy and I won (actually I think I won but it would be rude to say that). For dinner tonight we're having Annie's Pasta (yum!) and salad (yuck!)

Love,

Corey

WOW I think highly of myself. I mean honestly, I take myself so seriously. I'm all "worried" about Cathy when in reality I have to imagine Cathy was downright EXCITED to get a three hour break from me. I would be. Not only am I a professional actress who is prioritizing her career, I am also a Monopoly prodigy. AND i'm so modest that I let Cathy think she's helped me win. Sigh. It's hard being so wonderful.

Oh and Jeff will probably reappear. My crush on him is ongoing, though in retrospect there's pretty much NO chance he was actually straight. My desire for boys who have zero interest in me is pretty fucking strong at this point. Older men, gay men, boys who have TOLD me they aren't interested.... I love them all.

Mixed Up Volumes.

Below, I begin an exciting writing project where I write journal entries from the point of view of inanimate objects. Hilarity and Humiliation ensue.

June 27, 1994

From the Mixed up Volumes of Quarty Quarter's Green Journal

Dear Journal,

Hello. This is my first journal entry. Today was quite exciting. First this rough bumpy hand took me out of this cloth covering (I think it's called a purse) I was beginning to call home. I was put into a plastic bag, I bounced and jumped around with some other coins. I met this really cute penny (her name was Penny). We danced for three hours. She even kissed me. She is such a beautiful copper color. She was new, from 1993. Then I was separated from my darling Penny and into a smoother hand with nails called Jen. While Penny pas taken into the rough bumpy hand called Sam. Jen took me and put me into an old wrinkled hand called Mrs. Cramm. I heard some dings, and a drawer opened and I was dropped into a metal box with a clink. That's where I found you, Dear Journal. You are such a funny green color and those numbers bug me but I still trust you.

Sincerely,

Quarty Qaurter

This entry is followed by Spoonoe Spoon's Journal, and Forkster Fork's Journal. I don't know who came up with this idea (GENIUS) but it seems both Cathy and I are writing these little entries in our journals. In fact, we are seemingly obsessed with finishing our current journals so we can buy new ones. This means we both must write ten pages a day for the next week. A grueling pace. Apparently I have been a workaholic since I was in elementary school. which is either great or unbelievably depressing.

As for the actual content above? I mean come on. I think it speaks for itself....

People Don't Like Being Called Egomaniacs.

June 26, 1994

Dear Bethany,

No offense to Cathy but she has a HUGE ego. She was saying things like "I'm really good at this... I do a good job with that..." Then she did five front flips and then said "well i CAN do ten". oh GOD.

We also played a lot of tennis. A tennis teacher saw us playing and said we were really good and she's going to give us a tennis lessonon Tuesday at 9am. Anyway, tennis was fun but there were tons of bees and Cathy and I are both wicked scared of them.

Guess what?? Even though I still like Patrick (alias: Lame Boy), I'm in love with an older man (about 20) . His name is Brian. He is SO cute. He has blonde hair, blue eyes and glasses... not nerdy glasses, social looking glasses. He is a very good tennis player and he has a twin brother. Brian is also very nice. He always lets my brother hang around with him even though he's a few years older. Isn't that sweet?

A couple things about Cathy: Cathy's favorite animal is a horse. She likes them because they are cool, sweet, adorable, fun to ride on and be with etc. etc. She is probably my most obnoxious friend (besides Allison who I'm in a fight with) For instance, if I say something like "you're so egotistical" a couple things will happen:

1. she'll look at me like i have two heads.

2. she'll go "what's egotistical?" this is annoying for two reasons: she stretches out the "what's", and she makes every syllable in "egotistical" long.

INTERRUPTION: A funny thing just happened. Cathy goes, "wouldn't it be weird if when we were grandparents I found your journal and you found mine?" I agreed, and she said "We'd both be pretty mad because admit it, we both have some bad things about each other in our journals."

Well gotta go cause Dad's here and waiting very impatiently.

Night!

Corey

This is actually an edited down version of this journal entry. Since Cathy liked writing too, we would write every night that she was visiting me in New Hampshire. And it was an unspoken competition to see who would write for the longest, write the most, give up first. So I go on and on for pages in every journal entry this week.

An older man?? Wow. I'm actually pretty disturbed by the way I phrase that. It's kind of icky. And by kind of I mean extremely. But at least he had "social looking glasses". I'm sure there's some sort of fine distinction there. It's certainly an evocative phrase. Like, glasses that allow him to actually socialize and not just be a loser?

Do I have any friends I actually like?? Is there anyone I do NOT have complaints about?? I am so hyper aware of other people's faults. It really sounds miserable. I'm kiiiind of a terrible person at this point, huh?

What I love most is that I bitch about how Cathy reacts to my comment. "You're so egotistical". In what context am I saying this?? Do I understand how mean a comment that is?? Do I take any responsibility for the consequences of arbitrarily telling my friend she's an ego maniac?? The answer, of course, is no. The obnoxious person in this scenario is Cathy. Apparently because of the look she gives me and the way she speaks slowly. With syllables.

At least Cathy tells it like it is-- admitting that we both bitch about each other in our journals. I would LOVE to see what she wrote about me on this trip. I hope that at least in her journal she called me on my bullshit.

Christ, I was one irritable eleven year old.

Modesty and Other Qualities I Totally Posessed.

June 24, 1994

Dear Bethy,

Hi! I'm finally out of school. I'll tell you about it. Ok, when I got to school I didn't have anything to do so Piper and I played cards. Then we got to go to the award assembly. I won a writing award! I was really surprised that Cathy didn't win one. She's not as good as me, but she's good (I'm not bragging, just telling the truth)

Then Piper and I played more cards. Today, Cathy, my dad and my brother and I drove to New Hampshire. When we got up here Cathy and I played cards for a while. Then my brother and his friend-thats-a-girl, Kate (NOT a girlfriend) took us to Ben and Jerry's, an ice cream shop.

Guess what?? I'm auditioning for "Sound of Music"... I hope I get in. Another thing, Allison and I got in a fight over nothing. We haven't made up and we won't see each other until next year.

Love,

Corey

I think I'll address the obvious first: I really AM a better writer than Cathy. I mean, who does that 10 year old bitch think she is? Clearly my essay entitled "From the Mixed Up Volumes of Spoonoe Spoon's Journal" (found later in this very journal!) was GENIUS, and put me HIGH above every other 11 year old writer in the country. I can't go into details, because it will ruin the suspense for when I post it here.

Also, whats up with all the card playing?? Was I running some sort of underground poker scene? (the answer here is yes. I did in fact run a poker group where candy was used as currency. I'm not kidding. That's just how I roll.)

I'm proud of myself. I'm totally focussing on my 11-year-old Career instead of Patrick. Way to go Corey! You are ahead of your time!