I Dare You To Figure This Out

June 7, 1994

Dear Bethany,

Hi! Today kind of stunk.

I got in a fight with Allison. I'm kind of mad at Cathy and Georgia. I'M REALLY MAD AT CORRINE.

Okay, I'm mad at Allison and Cathy because Allison doesn't like Farryl and she's telling rumors and she's told lots of people and not me (but Bree DID tell me)

[Ok. Yep. This actually sounds about right. I actually feel some relief when I recognize myself in these entries. I definitely still really hate when I don't know everyone's dirty little secrets. I have no interest in sharing them, I just really really need to know them. So perhaps marks the first fight I actually understand. Allison spread rumors about Farryl and didn't tell me what they were. Bitch. ]

I'm mad at Georgia because I was all mad after our math test and I came in frowning. Georgia goes, "Oh she's just trying to get attention". Then PIPER came in with a frown and Georgia said "Oh, Piper, what's wrong?"

[I'm going to have to take Georgia's side on this one. I am positive I was just trying to get attention. I mean, it sucks that she called me on it, but it's not her fault she was more perceptive than me.]

I'm mad at Corrine because, see, in class we were doing Fractured Fairy Tales. Corrine is the part of Gretl. Yesterday I was bored so I took a script to cue them. I wanted to cue Corrine and at first she said sure, and then she told Georgia SHE could. And she PROMISED me I could do it. Today I went up to Corrine and said "Well can I have your script?" and she had already given it to Georgia!! I got mad and finally Georgia (unwillingly) gave the script to me. Then Corrine said "Well, I think I'll use my script. I'm not quite sure of the lines." then I was watching Hansel and Gretl and saw Corrine WITHOUT her script. So I looked around and guess who had it? RIGHT. GEORGIA.

Love,

Corey

Wow. This last one is a total mystery and took me about an hour to untangle. But i THINK the situation basically boils down to me wanting to run lines with Corrine?? I can't imagine why this was such an interesting prospect to me, but if I had to guess I'd say it had to do with not being cast as Gretl MYSELF, and somehow hoping that feeding Corrine her lines would make me a star? I mean, I can tell you one thing for sure: it certainly wasn't because I actually wanted to help her.

In this same Fractured Fairy Tales play, I had to be a giant. Seriously. At like 4 feet tall, the tiniest person EVER, my teacher I guess decided it was best to go for the joke rather than protect any sensitivity I might have about my tininess. I'm still pissed. I think I'm in a fight with Mrs. J.

Actually, I could never handle this amount of fights in my adult life. I'm tired just reading about it. I mean, was i ever NOT mad at someone? And how many times can i possibly use the word "mad" in one single entry??

Things to think about.

Things I Love; Things I Hate.

Ok. I can't type this one out because it a simply THAT BAD.

But an overview:

I made two lists. Two Top Ten Lists, Letterman style. One of things I love, one of things I hate.

Highlights of the things I love: Luckily, I DO list all three members of my immediate family. They are not tied. In fact, they are quite well spread out across the top ten list. My hampster, Houdini in fact beat some of them. What else beat all THREE family members? Let's take a look at the top five:

#5:Writing (I just love it!)

#4: Books (pick a book, any book)

#3: Tammy (a stuffed bunny I've had since February 20, 1983)

#2: Being in Musicals (singing acting and dancing)

#1: Hippos (so cute... so wonderful)

Um. I just want to reiterate that. HIPPOS are what I love most in the world. More than Patrick, my family or any of my hobbies. And a STUFFED BUNNY also edges out Mom, Dad and my brother. I... feel like a sociopath.

As for the Top Ten things I hate, I'll give you the whole top ten:

#10: winter (YUCK!)

#9: Choices (Diana or Georgia?)

#8: Braces (ouch)

#7: Teeth (what good are they?)

#6: Cassie

#5: Vegetables (gross me out!)

#4: Doctors (This includes dental doctors too)

#3: Being scared (eeeek!)

#2: Fred (Mr. Geek)

#1: War (go away!)

I... wow. Ok first of all, things have changed because winter rules. I just need to get that out there first and foremost. Choices: Diana or Georgia... I wonder what this means? Which one to be best friends with? Which one to kill? The stakes must be pretty high for the choice between the two of them to be on my all time Hate List.

I especially like the Miss America tone I take at the end. The number one thing I hate is war. Wow. Profound.

Actually, I can't comment on this list. I'm still getting over the Things I Love List and the fact that I like my stuffed bunny more than my family. WTF.

Fake Fights. Cause Real Ones Aren't Psycho Enough.

May 24, 1994

Dear Bethy,

Hi! Good news and horrible news.

1. Musical Theatre was great!

2. I feel confident about my social studies test. It was about the Pre-Civil War.

3. Nikki [a new pen pal. During this time I had A LOT of pen pals.] wrote back! She sent her picture. She's overweight but she seems nice, and that's what counts.

Horrible, terrible, no good, very bad news:

Yesterday, Evie and Piper got into a fight. Or at least that's what it was thought to be. See, after Art yesterday, Evie told me that Piper had "done it again" (meaning that Piper was calling her stupid). She was laughing when she said it so I said "Evie, are you SURE? Pink swear you're telling me the truth?" and she PINKY SWORE. Then, today I found out it was just a fake fight. I got mad at them. (I think I had the right to... don't you?)

And after music Evie wrote a note saying they were doing it for fun, not anything to do with me. So I wrote back saying "I don't believe you because you brought me into it and everything... maybe you're not the person I thought you were." And then she came by and whispered to me, "Well at least I'm not a perfect little bitch like you." I got mad and everything and since I'm so sensitive, I started crying at recess. Everyone was saying "Corey, what's wrong?" and I only wanted to be alone with Georgia and Diana. So I sobbed "I just want to be alone". Also, the whole recess Piper and Evie were following me around making fun of me. They're making fun of me but I will NOT stoop so low as to make fun of them.

Love,

Corey

PS: Mrs. Jefferson has this board called "Then and Now" and it has pictures of everyone from September and from May. Piper and Evie ruined my May picture. Luckily, Mrs. J busted them.

Woah. I'm actually pretty overwhelmed by this one. And by overwhelmed, I mean I am experiencing PTSD.

I mean, first of all, a fake fight?? What the fuck is that? That seems like a lot of trouble to go through to make someone mad. Making someone mad really isn't that hard. Especially eleven year old Corey. She seems to get mad pretty easily (whereas now, you know, my temper's totally under control)

I can't quite get a grasp on what I was so upset about... so I understand that saying Evie wasn't show I thought she was is rather extreme... Did I think she was not someone who would get in a fake fight, only real ones? I'm confused. BUT that said... perfect little bitch is pretty hardcore. I mean, I was kind of a judgmental, holier than thou child.... but actually calling me on it?? ouch.

I always enjoy most of all my descriptions of my dramatic crying fits. I think I was secretly in a soap opera that no one else knew about. A really poorly written soap opera.

As for my fat pen pal... its sooooo nice of me to still think she might be a good person despite her weight. I mean, I must be a good person if I can look as horrible an affliction as being overweight in a new pen pal. I mean, ideally, all your pen pals are skinny. But oh well. These days, I'd be more concerned with the unicorn stickers she sent me. She was SO a pink unicorn type of girl. I think we all know what I'm talking about...