Wednesday, June 10, 2009

New Year, Same Cruelty.

January 1, 1994
Dear Bethy,
Hi! Guess what... It's 1994. My new year's resolution is this: I'm  going to look on the bright side of things- you know, try not to be so depressed and worried about every little thing. 
I'll finish up my friend list:
Corrine: Corrine is kind of a snob. She has dirty blonde hair- shoulder length but much thinner than mine. She looks really skinny but she's not. 
I guess that's it!

Oh... oh god. I really never realized I even thought about skinniness at this age.... I mean, I weighed about as much as your average 5 year old, so it couldn't have been competitiveness... What does it even mean that she looks skinny but she isn't?? Does she have some hidden stomach only I have seen? Does she dress so well that she looks super skinny but is actually obese? 

As for my New Year's resolution... I wonder how many times I have made this exact resolution. And at ten I was pretty happy... I mean, high school hadn't even happened yet. If I think I'm depressed at age ten, I can't imagine how I describe my state of being at age 16....

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