Corey is a Giant Hypocrite. But is Finally Also Right About Something.

April 30, 1996

Hey Bethany! 

Here at Nobles life is going great. I've made some REALY good friends with this girl I really like, Carissa. She's great. 
Ned and Derek are both good. 

Remember Penny? Smart, brown hair, talkative. She's changing. I can tell a lot about people. She is acting in some way that she finds funky. She used to babble a little and be sensitive and helpful and strong. Lately she's tried to be funny and more of an individualist. Everyone is thinking she is acting weird. She'll say really stupid things sometimes. I don't know how to stop her from changing herself. It seems mean to try. She shouldn't want to be what she's not. She tries to pretend she's spacey and always figuring people out, and she'll say stuff like "what is the definition anyway? Was it ever defined?" She'll "ponder" that, then she'll be like "Hmmm I'll think about that." She says she doesn't care what people think about her, but she tries to hang out with people like Nina and Tess. She's been clingy lately. I want to be with Carissa and Katie, and then she'll come along too. And she'll say some weirdo thing. I just don't understand. So many different kinds of people, why try to change your kind? 

Peace and Love,
Corey

Usually I disagree pretty vehemently with Little Corey, but in this instance I'm sort of like... yeah. That sounds pretty effing annoying actually. And yeah, it does sound like this chick is trying to BE someone deep and smart and to compensate for how uncomfortable middle school can be by pretending to "not care". Although I will say that Little Corey is a giant, giant hypocrite. Because lets be honest. Little Corey LOVES the idea of being deep and a "individualist". So you know, she may be right about this Penny chick, but come on. What I hated in Penny is DEFINITELY what I was insecure about in myself for SURE.

I AM SO TRANSPARENT.

In which "On Bended Knee" Becomes my Favorite Song

3/11/96


Dear Bethany,
Hi! I probably had the best time of my life at Tess's batmitzvah on Saturday. They had two fortune tellers who really predicted the right things. The only problem is that they told all my friends that they were going to get boyfriends soon, but they told me that I was having trouble with boys. Oh well! 
They also had a karaoke thing that gave you a tape of your singing. Jill, Abby and I sang to "Only Want to be With You" by Hootie and the Blowfish. It is sooooo funny. They also had this photo thing where you got dressed in a costume. Abby, Jill and I did it. It ruled. They had cotton candy and this candy thing where you took a bag and put in any candy that you wanted. It was incredible. Want to hear the best part???? Derek was there!! {NOTE: THIS IS the SENIOR IN HS THAT I AM OBSESSED WITH WHO WILL BE GOING TO THE CREEPY SEVENTH GRADER/SENIOR DANCE WITH ME) Yes, he's friends with Tess's brother, so he came. 


First the DJ dude said "pick a partner" and I was going to go with my friend, but the Derek goes "Corey!" so I did a fast dance with him. It was so funny. He kept moving everywhere! Then I danced a slow dance with Ned, and then a slow dance with Derek. They both asked me!!! Talk about awesome! I don't remember what song I dance with Nick to but with Derek I danced to "On Bended Knee" by Boyz 2 Men. At the end of the song-- the last time they sing "on bended knee" he went down on one knee. It was the sweetest thing any guy has ever done! And at the very end he took my hand and shook it and said "Thank you very much, Madame". 


Ned just came over to me and goes "shorty" (his nickname for me), and then I danced with him. We talked the whole times. Both dances were absolute sheer magic. I really believe that. I am totally lovesick though. For both Derek AND Ned. I love them both!!! It's to the point where it's really pathetic. I'm almost depressed. Every song I hear I picture myself dancing with either Ned or Derek. My new fave song is "On Bended Knee". Oh I'm so lame! 


Peace and Love,
Corey


Awwww, okay. I still think the senior-sixie dance, in which seventh graders and seniors in high school go on a date to a dance together is the creepiest idea by school ever came up with. But I mean Derek, my senior date for a dance that is still, like, months away, is maybe the nicest guy ever. I mean, I'm this loser of a thirteen year old. And he's a fucking eighteen year old with way better things to do that encourage my extremely obvious crush. So... thanks Derek!

I love that Derek, the senior, is all adorable and sweet and getting down on one knee. And of course the boy my age, Ned, just calls me "shorty". But it's just as magical.

Ah, love.

Also, Tess's batmitzvah is still maybe the greatest party I've ever been to in my entire life. Seriously. I don't think it gets much better than TWO fortune tellers, unlimited candy and a tape of myself singing Hootie.

I Fall For a Hunk and a Half. Yep.

January 22, 1996

Beth,

Sorry I haven't written for such a long time. I see Derek sooooo much! He still rules! Don't worry! I also really like a guy named Ned. I've been KINDA thinking of asking him out... who knows? Kristen asked Aaron out and he said he'd tell her tomorrow. She's psyched. I HOPE he says yes but... I don't know if he will.

I'm mad at Tess. I can't explain it. I just get very annoyed with her. You know that deep feeling when you want to slap someone. There you go. She "doesn't care" about Jason and Derek anymore! Hayley still does though! Brenda-- he's a hunk and a half!!

A really cute guy slept over with my brother Saturday. He's taken, he's my brother's friend's boyfriend. Lucky!!

Bethy, help! Should I ask Ned out?? If he says no will I be able to talk to him again? (we're friends). And if he said yes, would I mess up while kissing him? I've never kissed anyone. I don't want advice, unless it's from someone who knows what he'll say... Is there anyone I could ask??

I'll think about it.

Love,

Corey

I do end up dating Ned.... but two years later. And I'm guessing he would not have said yes if I went for it in seventh grade. He was pretty effing popular with the ladies and I was.... quirky. You know, with a unicycle and shit. I did NOT end up dating my brother's friend's boyfriend, however. Because, you know, my brother was 17 at the time and i was TWELVE. So.... way to shoot for the stars, Corey.

Also: "that feeling where you want to slap someone"... that does not sound like a normal way to feel about my best friend. Am I a secret sociopath? And more importantly, will 29-year old Tess, who is still my friend, hate me now that she knows of my secret urge to hit her?

Oh and this phrase "a hunk and a half"... uhhh wow. That's a new one. I officially think I like INSIDE an Archie Comic.