Thursday, May 27, 2010

Life sucks and I hate everything.

April 9,1995
Dear Bethany,
Hi! Nothing new is happening here. I was going to have a rehearsal for this movie I'm directing, but everyone called and said they couldn't make it. I'm SO burned up. I mean, they made a commitment and BOOM they kill it. So I guess I'll hang around and be bored today. Cool plans, huh? Oh well. Life is so hard on me. I try so hard to do something or be something and then it doesn't workout. Not just today, a lot. This whole year. Since June 23,1994 my life has sucked, gone down the drain, ya know? Hopefully it will all get better on June 23, 1995! It's been so tough. Everything. I hate my life. It's so mixed up. Just when I think everything is going great my world turns upside down and gets all screwed up. I just don't get it. Sometimes I feel like I'm about to burst into tears for no reason. And I have no one to talk to about this. If I told a friend they just wouldn't understand. But then again, neither do I!

Dude. If this isn't some fucking hardcore pre-adolescent crazy going down I don't know what is. I assume this is not all about the "movie" I was "directing (WHAT?? No really. WHAT??? What am I talking about?? Do I even have access to a video camera? What script are we using? And we're REHEARSING?? Seriously, how did no one stop me???)

I wish I knew what all the angst was about but I really don't. Hormones, mostly? I mean, I got Patrick to be my boyfriend my sheer will power... and yet I don't seem to get any happier. In fact, I get less happy. So it's not about unrequited love... I mean, what else is there when you're 12??

I hope this gets better. I think I'm depressed now. Not Crazy-12-year-old-Corey depressed... just like, "hey this sucks" depressed. Cause I swear to god I'm less angsty now. Really. I'm borderline sane now.

1 comment: