Thursday, September 23, 2010

12 Year Old Corey Goes Bat Shit Crazy.

May 16, 1995
Well here's a story for you:
I walked into Youth Group today and we were all sitting around talking and someone said something like they were talking about me or something. So I tried to get it out of Ellen and Alicia and Scott. Finally I got it out of Alicia and Ellen. They told me Patrick really liked me a lot and all but he didn't like going out. He doesn't want to dump me though cause then I will think he doesn't like me and I'll hate him. I'm kinda upset but not really cause Ellen and Alicia said he's not going to dump me. So I called Diana to talk to her about it and here's the conversation:

Corey: Hi Diana
Diana: Hi.
Corey: Why would someone not like going out?
D: Maybe they think its stupid or something.
C: Oh.
D: Did Ellen tell you something?
C: Yeah. Ellen and Alicia.
D: Alicia knows? Are we talking about the same thing?
C: Dunno, what are you talking about?
D: I can't tell you because Ellen and I said we wouldn't tell you cause you might--- gotta go I'll call you later. Bye!

Then she hung up. So now I'm waiting for her to call back. I'm so nervous my stomach is turning somersaults cause I think we were talking about totally different things!!! I AM SOOOOO NERVOUS. CALL BACK DIANA! BETH I'M GOING TO DIE IF I DON"T FIND OUT WHAT THE FUCK DIANA CAN'T TELL ME!!!!!!!

This is the most nerve-wrecking situation I've ever been in. Fine- I'm exaggerating but so what??? I'm going to have a nervous breakdown right here on my bed. Is it bad? Good? Neutral? Important? What is it anyway? I'm literally shaking and my stomach is seriously going berzerk, haywire! I can't think of any more words that mean crazy but I think you catch my drift. Get the point. Get the picture. Get it. I can't think of any more phrases that mean understand but I don't think I need to go any further, continue, spell it out for you. Look at me, I'm babbling on and on. I always do when I get nervous. Bethany... why hasn't she called? If she doesn't call soon there will be a murder. Specifically, Diana's.

I better go.


What's amazing about this entry is that there is no follow up where I reveal the exciting conclusion of this story. Actually, what is actually amazing about this entry is that I managed to somehow interact in a somewhat normal way with people even though I was so clearly a complete psychopath. As concerned as I often am about little Corey's sanity-- this time I'm actually wondering if I needed to be medicated. Or sedated.

At first I thought my friends were being bitches by keeping it a secret from me that Patrick wanted to break up. But after taking a second (much more evolved and adult) look, I realized they were actually looking out for my best interests and trying to not hurt me. Crap. I guess I really was the evil whore of the group.

I'm upset about this one though. Because Patrick and I do NOT break up, and I never seem to reference his ambivalence again. But.... was it all a lie?? Did he ever even like me? Was he just waiting it out?

Sigh. Relationships are hard.


  1. Cor. Let's just focus on the part that you threatened to kill me. In writing.

  2. Oh right. I meant to address that. As more evidence of the fact that I was actually like, ready for the mental ward. Let's all take a moment to be happy that you survived elementary school. Good thing I left in seventh grade... who knows what would have happened to you....

  3. I have to say, I adore your blog! I have equally crazy diaries that last through high school. It's refreshing to know that I wasn't the only one that blew everything in the world way out of proportion when I was in middle school. Can't wait to read the continuing adventures!